So at first I cut down on my precious little outings. But it wasn't enough.
So then I cut down on my precious little evenings, which are now almost all spent with a book on my hand. But it wasn't enough.
So, instead of not going to tennis lessons, I cut down on my sleeping time (ah the mature choice) and now I have spent a week in which I have slept for 5 hours per day.
Come Wednesday morning, I feel like a giant cup of coffe walking around the hospital (in which I have been hiding the past few days whenever in agony). Hands shaking and all, I have lost all my natural and many cravings for foods and sweets. I eat because I have to. I don't finish my meals. In short:
I have spent two frickin' months trying to stick to a simple diet plan, with no weight loss whatsoever, but I lost 0.5 kg just by studying Neurology.
I did honestly try to sleep more that night, but all I could do was sleep for 6 hours and 30' minutes, after which my eyes opened and refused to shut again even though my shaky self needed the sleep and it was still dark outside. (I mean, WTF?)
I may have made this sound too dramatic for you, but I am feeling way too NERVOUS and it's hitting me to the head.
You see there are two sides of this, both in my head, fighting to become the end of me, I guess.
Side One: I am too tired, and I should probably skip this exam and get some rest.
Side Two: It's only two months before the Christmas holidays, keep it up, do whatever you should, and maybe sth good will come out of this. The rest you would get wouldn't be enough anyway.
Side Two is what my heart and mind are set on, Side One is what my body needs.
So - I chose Side Two :) I'm a fighter, you see?!
On the bright side, I got a 7/10 for Endocrinology, which means that, no doubt, "sleepless Fridays" DO work sometimes... Yay for me!
Anyway, we had a teacher yesterday who was SO GOOD that I don't hate Neurology anymore. I love it. He was young (well, at around fourty, but for a Neurosurgeon that is young) and very enthousiastic with the way he tought us. So there was this nerd who kept reciting the whole Pathology book while answering his questions and I should quote "But Robbin's Pathology, sir, clearly states that.." AAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
but at some point he said:
"A cyclist has fallen down on the road, blood everywhere. What's the first thing you do?"
- and yours truely points to her throat.
He sees her- he smiles- he exclaims: "EXACTLY!"...
The nerd turns around and catches a glimpse of Ms Ellisa's smirk still clutching her larynx in a shaken sleepy smiling Nirvana agony-
and instead of shutting up and leting me do the talking (after all, the question was indeed mine to answer, right?)- the nerd begins:
"Oh yes, respiration" and she starts with her know-it-all stupid voice reciting the classic 3-15 or 2-10 first aid, kiss of life or whatever you call it, while I remain silent in a couple of seats away wondering what exactly had happened to me.
And then it happened.
The tiny, only, small ray of light in my week:
He raises his hand and stops her. He says:
"No. Not that. If you don't know the BASIC A-B-C-D's you will LOSE him, no matter what else you know"
And he turns to me, points at me with the same already raised hand, now in approval- the same in which he clutched her face in the dirt (okay okay I'll dial it down :) ) points at me and says - in words roughly translated because you can't find the exact translation in English -
"Say it baby!"
And I simply explained that "A", is "Airway", and you have to make sure he can breathe first, before doing anything else...
She started talking -again, I mean GAWD- trying to recite the way in which you free the airway but he stopped her, AGAIN, and life was good for me.
*she probably hates me now, but I don't care. Actually, I didn't interupt HER come to think of it*
After that lecture, with fresh blood running in my veins, as if someone had cleared MY airway (geddit now?) I studied as hard as I could, and I managed to sleep 7 hours and eat 3 slices of pizza last night out of sheer APPETITE.
Neurology awaits, however, and I shall close this post with a promise to myself: whenever I do get some time off, I will "shadow" doctors in the ER, or in the OR, or "wherev"R :)
PS. My tummy aches so baaaaad... I'm getting dizzy.... I'm getting nauseous... I feel like falling... :-(